Tuesday, March 17, 2009

The Ten Command... oh wait I mean Positives.

I want to share with you many of the things that are about accepting myself and coming out.

1. Since coming out I have drawn closer to God. It sounds crazy but it is true, before accepting myself as Gay I was apathetic to religion, trying to make it work and using it as an effective social structure and community but now I feel far more connected to the Lord my Savior than I ever have before.
2. I have become far more tolerant of others in their struggles that I might not understand but that I can sympathize with because of the recognition of my own battles.
3. I have been able to stop lying to the people around me about everything, from the reason I left my college of choice, to why I don’t like to date Asian Girls
4. I no longer have to be so concerned about people’s views or feelings about me because I know who I am and I am proud of that fact.
5. I have found a community in which I don’t feel apart from but feel connected with, someone who instead of devoted to a life on the fringe of society, I want to take active part in it.
6. I have discovered who my true friends are, that is the friends who have taken the time to value me based upon my merits, not based on the stereotype of a word.
7. I am able to take a more active role in the places where I felt isolated from, mainly because I have so much more confidence in myself.
8. I am able to take an active role in advocacy because I finally have a cause that I believe in that I see as worth fighting for.
9. I am able to be a beacon, a light, a help to others who are struggling with accepting their sexuality or dealing with religious devotion as well.
10. Most of all, I am happy. I had lived a life of self-hatred and constantly reinforced homophobia, but since I have accepted myself and come out I never been happier. It has brought some great sorrow as well, but it has brought the most sincere joy.

So often I hear about the pain that is associated with coming out and the regret that is found after you begin to accept your sexuality and SO I leave this as an open question to you. I have provided 10 things that I feel have been hidden blessings since I came out. What, for you, are the best things, the positive aspects of accepting yourself and coming out?

1 comment:

  1. David, I love this post. There are so many reasons I am glad to finally be able to accept my sexuality. I'll try to name a few.

    1) After years of living a lie to myself and others, I can freely admit without feeling like a second class citizen that I am gay.
    2) I finally understand why I have felt so conflicted, so depressed, and felt such little self worth as I have measured myself against my perceived yardstick of perfection. I realize that being gay doesn't make me any less worthy as a human being or member of the church than anyone else.
    3) I realize that I don't need to be fixed. I am not broken.
    4) I realize that just because I am gay, I don't have to live according to the world's perception of what that means. I can still live a life that includes faithfulness to myself, my wife, my family, my church and most importantly my God.
    5) I have a greater sense of empathy for those who are also gay, no matter what life choices they make. I understand the incredible pressures placed upon gay people, especially within the church, and can understand why some choose different avenues of life.
    6) I have made incredible friendships that bless me daily. I am no longer alone.
    7) I am able to reach out to others who also need help and understanding.
    8) I am now able to speak with priesthood leaders about how the church can better educate youth and parents about homosexuality. I can show them by my example that being gay does not have to equate with promiscuity and "the lifestyle" that is so often presumed to accompany being gay.
    9) I can teach my children tolerance towards not only gay people, but all people, helping them to look for the good that inherently lies within all of God's children.
    10) I can be at peace, knowing that my Father loves me and has blessed me, not cursed me with a gay nature. I can appreciate the good qualities that often accompany one with same gender attraction and build upon them. I have the assurance that the full blessings both earthly and eternally are still available to me.

    I could probably go on, but suffice it to say that while once, I hated and suppressed from myself and the world, my homosexuality, I can now feel at peace and make positive steps to improve other aspects of my life, realizing that my homosexuality is only a part of who I am. Thank you for the opportunity to express these feelings. I needed to do it.