In light of new information and another point of view on this man, I feel like I need to share this story and how it probably did more harm than good.
During my Freshman year at BYU, my ward had 3 perhaps more MoHos. One was out and rather obvious, one was closeted but showing signs, and then there was me, completely in the closet, doing everything I could to put on a facade, I was the Gospel doctrine teacher and later in the EQP. My Bishop and his counselors loved me, why I don't really know, I guess because of my insights into scripture, and my false extroversion. They pretty much saw me as one of their golden boys.
While all this was going on I was pretty much throwing the BYU honor code in the mud and stomping all over it, off BYU campus at least. In late July/early August of 2007 I couldn't take the double life anymore and confessed all of my plethora of sins to my BYU bishop. During the interview, many of the things I confessed were obvious "pink flags" that screamed HOMOSEXUAL. My bishop was completely shocked. He couldn't fathom that I was doing all of this and he as my steward saw none of it.
During the interview he told me that I wasn't gay. He told me that I was jsut confused and this reinforced my justification that I was just horny and loved women sooo much that I couldn't bare to defile them, not even in my mind. Looking back I wonder why, when presente with the information he did say, yes David you are gay. Here is how we should deal with it. I, previous to a conversation with one of the other Mohos in my ward, thought that this was for the following reason.
He didn't want to shake my fragile core because I was broken and near the edge and he wouldn't want to add anything else.
Now, armed with the fact that one of the fellow Mohos had come out to the bishop I have to think that this bishop assumed that "Gay" meant flamboyant and animated and theatrical etc. that he was stuck into a stereotype view of seeing things. He couldn't associate in his mind my vile sins of homosexuality with actually being gay because I didn't exude any obvious signs. I find that this strain of thought also afflicts my mother who thinks that I might not be gay because I am "manly" and liked to play some sports, etc.
I wonder if this is more prevalent in other peoples experiences than we even realize? people too often think of "Gay" as the people in the pride parades wearing @$$less chaps and don't see that their loved one is gay. What can we do to change that mindset?