Monday, February 23, 2009

The Need for Balance

Can someone help me understand this dilemma I face?
Yesterday I pretty much felt like a 1 on the Bristol Stool Chart, not only did I feel like a piece of crap, it was really hard to pass.

I really just wanted my brain to stop working and I was wishing that death would come. I wanted another car to hit me on the road, or a tree to fall on me, or a bus to hit me on the way to school. I just couldn't take it anymore and I was feeling so down. Most of this was caused by my mind and its horrendous ability to agree with both sides of an issue. Late last night I started to feel decent and this morning I felt even better. I dont know why. My mind is still working the same way, I still see both sides of each issue. Is it that I am chemically out of balance and this is the start of my manic phase? or did God answer my plea for help and is granting some peace to calm my troubled heart? Or is it both? So as you can see my mind is still working the same way, but I am wonering if this is just a realization that I might be bi-polar? Does this make any sense to anyone out there? IF this is what I am going through does anyone happen to know a good shrink here in SLC that is MoHo friendly and open to carious interpretations rather than church rigidity that they could recommend?

1 comment:

  1. 1.) Thanks for the hilarious analogy with the Bristol scale.

    2.) Bipolar or not, it probably wouldn't hurt to see someone. There's a list here, (I would recommend Marybeth Raynes):