Thursday, April 23, 2009

A Call for Advice

K, so I have a situation here and I wouldn't mind some advice from you readers out there. Recently one of my best friends got back from his mission. Based off of my letters to him that ended about October, he knows that something is up. I am out online to his family members and still have my coming out note on facebook. I don't think he has seen it yet and I don't think that his family has mentioned it... yet. I value his opinion more than pretty much anyone's, including my mothers. I want to come out to him personally, but he is out of state for a few months right now. I really want his opinion on everything and want to have a one on one dialogue with him. So, should I wait until we can have a face to face conversation, set up a phone call, email him. He just got back last week and so I am wondering how long I should wait to tell him. Should I tell him? any advice would be greatly appreciated.


  1. For what it is worth, I'd recommend calling him, telling him that you are sending him an important email(your coming out,) and that you would like to call him back in an hour or so and discuss it with him. This will give him time to absorb it and be prepared to talk about it. It has worked for me.

    Good Luck!

  2. We've got all sorts of technology these days that allows for one-on-one dialogue without the necessity of close physical proximity. :)

    Tell him that you want to talk to him about something important (to make sure that he can set aside a good chunk of time for you) and then call, IM, text, webcam-chat, or whatever to have your conversation.

    If you're comfortable enough talking with him that you can come out to him face-to-face (or phone-to-phone or IM-to-IM or whatever) that's all you need to do. If you're a bit uncomfortable making the initial announcement in person, then use Bravone's suggestion and do the pre-email with the conversation follow-up.

  3. Do it real time. Being able to see the reactions and respond is irreplaceable. Personally I would try whenever possible to come out to someone face to face, especially those I loved and whose opinions I valued. If circumstances don't permit you to do that with this friend right now then I would seriously consider waiting till you could.